


She can't say it

by PokehTurtle



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, F/F, bees bein cute, bees bein gay, bees bein sad, volume 6 spoilers for episode 6!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 10:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16891116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PokehTurtle/pseuds/PokehTurtle
Summary: Blake stares and shivers, her face says,begs, say something, say anything.I loved you, Yang thinks. I still do.Takes place after episode 6.





	She can't say it

**Author's Note:**

> Wow did I actually.... write something??? Volume 6 has me jazzed and alive n' I wanted to write something real quick after episode 6 came out so here we are. Enjoooooooooooyyyyyyy

Yang isn’t tired; she’s exhausted, and the only thing that’s keeping her awake is the falling snow pelting against her skin like knives and the wind making her eyes sear and water. The metal cart is clanking behind her and it’s passengers are all deathly quiet, words dead on the cold air. A glance behind her shows Ruby and Weiss are collapsed, shivering against each other, asleep somehow, despite the noise from Bumblebee and the trailer. Ruby snores softly and Yang is convinced the only reason she’s asleep is that her body was physically too spent to remain awake any longer. 

Qrow hasn’t hasn’t looked up from his feet in hours. His flask is empty and his mind is even more vacant. Maria is humming a tune quietly, perhaps thinking of what she’ll tell Ruby when they finally reach shelter, or Argus. The back of trailer wasn’t a good time or place, she’d said, to talk about the silver eyes, the grimm, especially with her hearing as bad as it was. Yang couldn’t complain. There had been enough revelations for now as far as she was concerned. 

Yang doesn’t need to look at her to know Blake is awake. She feels the pressure of amber on her back and knows Blake hasn’t taken her eyes off of her since the Brunswick house. It feels weighted, heavy, laden with concern. She wishes that Blake would fall asleep, but it was a foolish desire, considering that Blake had almost died hours before, trapped in her own body on the cold rotten floor of the waterway, eyes drained of color and that beautiful light that always made Yang feel like she was looking at the most precious metal in the world. 

Blake almost died and Yang had never been more helpless. She grabbed Blake’s hand and ran faster than she ever had when they left the tunnels. She had to get everyone, get Blake away. 

The sun is setting. There’s a dull grey ambience to the night sky as the snow stops falling and the broken moon tries to shine through the clouds. She relaxes the throttle on her bike and gently brings their makeshift caravan to a stop, hoping that Ruby and Weiss won’t wake. They deserve to rest.

“What is it?” It’s Blake’s voice and it’s full of concern. 

“I think we should make a camp or something.” Yang walks the bike and trailer over to a clearing she spotted, an open space surrounded by towering pine trees. There’s a boulder with an overhang that might make a shelter good enough to pass the night under. 

“You won’t hear me complaining.” Maria hops off the trailer, snow crunching under her boots and her cane. “It won’t be safe for you to drive us in the dark much longer.” 

Yang wants to fight back, to say that she’s capable of driving in the dark, the snow, the ice, but she knows Maria’s right. Already her eyes start to feel heavy, begging her to shut them, blot out the world for at least a few hours and let sleep come over her. It wasn’t safe and Yang would never put her pride before the safety of the others. She hasn’t been fair to Maria in any case, throwing her misplaced anger and fear at her. 

Qrow helps them gather firewood while Ruby and Weiss begin to stir, the heiress groggily setting a fire ablaze before drifting off back to sleep in the comfort of the flames. Ruby struggles to stay awake, smiling at everyone, even Qrow, who can’t bear to meet her gaze. It’s quiet and the air is charged, but Yang feels a little more hopeful than before, even with all the horrible truths and lies, and the knot in her stomach that still screams at her to abandon her quest. Ruby eventually collapses against Weiss’s side again. Yang’s lips curl into a small smile at the sight. 

I’ll take the first watch, Yang says. Qrow grunts in response and tries to sleep, too overcome with guilt to put up a fight and too hungover to serve as a protector. Oscar stays awake next to Maria as she tells him stories of her home, of a festival she remembers full of colors and sweets and joy, and the memory seems to be enough to soothe the young boy’s nerves enough for him to drift off as well, his mind absent the presence of Ozpin.

Blake is sitting next to her with her arms crossed on her knees and her eyes trained on the flames. Yang can’t take her eyes off her. Blake’s tired and her ears drip low and her hands are shivering despite her proximity to the fire. 

I almost lost her, Yang thinks, and the thought is overwhelming. I almost lost her and the last thing I’d done to her was get mad and she didn’t even know why. 

She reaches over with her left arm and grabs Blake’s shoulder, needing to touch her, needing to know that she was really there, that she was safe. 

“Hey.” Blake looks up at her, her eyes shaky and unfocused, betraying exhaustion or maybe something else. “W-what is it?” 

Yang stares at her for a second and chokes on her words. “Nothing I just, uh. Are you cold?” 

It’s not the question she wants to ask. Blake hesitates before slowly bringing her hand over Yang’s, squeezing it tightly, making Yang’s heart skip a beat. 

“A bit. I’m ok though.” Blake replies and it sounds like a lie. 

“Are you really?”

“Really what?”

“Ok.” Blake sighs and Yang watches as her breath dissipates into a cloud. It’s not right for her to look so sad, Yang thinks to herself. She wants to stroke her face and tuck her hair away from her eyes, her gorgeous eyes. 

“Not really. I’m trying not to think about what happened.” Blake finally answers. “I barely remember what happened before Ruby saved me. And we’re-”

Yang pulls her hand away and feels something stabbing her chest. She knows Blake’s not talking about the group. She’s talking about the two of them and all of a sudden Yang is terrified again. “We’re what?” 

Blake looks like she’d cry if she had the strength to do it. “We’re not ok, are we?”

Yang abruptly stands up, startling Blake who jolts upright herself. 

“Yang I-” 

“Maria, we’re gonna get some more firewood.” Yang grabs Blake’s hand again and starts walking before Maria can respond. She rolls her ‘eyes’ as the two walk away and watches their footprints form in the snow. She’s wise enough to know the two girls need to talk alone. 

“We have plenty of firewood there already Yang.” Blake states it and Yang knows it’s true. 

“I didn’t want anyone to hear us.” Yang admits, feeling guilty, selfish, but Blake seems to understand. 

Yang sighs and tries to say something but her mind is a mess, cluttered with conflicting emotions and feelings and unspoken admissions. 

“I’m sorry I got mad at you. At the farm.” She finally speaks, watching as Blake looks down at the ground and how her ears turn away in shame. “I shouldn’t have. I know you weren’t trying to… insinuate anything.”

“I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you Yang.” Blake chokes and her voice is soft, quiet. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, I know you can protect yourself I just-”

“Blake.” Yang steps forward because she can’t see Blake’s face clearly in the dark. She takes both of Blake’s hands in front of her and holds on tightly. She wants to make things right so badly. “... it’s ok.” 

“No, it’s not!” Blake insists, retracting her hands close to her chest. Her eyes linger a little too long on Yang’s right arm, looking at the metal fearfully. Yang feels angry. She knows what Blake is going to say. “It’s _my_ fault! You wouldn’t have to worry about Adam if I hadn’t-” 

“Hadn’t what?!” Yang feels her emotions breaking, the flood rushing forward. Blake seems shocked by her outburst and she feels shocked too. “I don’t _care_ about my arm! Blake you-” 

She stops herself, forces herself to breathe. Blake seems so small, shivering in the cold. “I would have given up my other arm if meant that you never left me. Don’t you know that?”

“I left to-” Blake’s eyes go wide and she doesn’t finish her sentence. Yang’s too tired to even feel angry anymore. 

“Protect me?” Yang says it. The faunus shys away from her, steps backwards, drowning in shame. “I never needed that.” 

Yang feels her throat tighten, her eyes searing, not from the freezing temperature. “I needed you. I needed you with me.”

She sees Blake’s cheek glisten and knows she’s crying. “I still do.” 

“I meant it when I said I’m not going anywhere.” Blake weeps. “I promise. I never wanted to hurt you.” 

Her shoulders shake and she repeats it: “I promise.”

Yang closes the distance between them, wipes away the tears on Blake’s face with her thumb. Their eyes lock together and everything is fraught with unspoken words. The atmosphere is choking them both. Blake stares and shivers, her face says, _begs_ , say something, say anything. 

I loved you, Yang thinks. I still do, and you don’t know because I can’t tell you. I’m scared you don’t love me back. I’m scared that you’re only here because you feel guilty, not because you want to. 

Yang can’t actually say any of it. Instead she pulls Blake into a hug, takes in her frozen form and wraps her arms tight around her, like if she lets go Blake will disappear again. Blake hugs her back just as tightly, grasping fistfulls of Yang’s jacket and sobbing openly into her shoulder. 

It feels like eternity and Yang doesn’t want to let her go. 

“Let’s head back,” she forces herself to say. “Don’t wanna freeze out here, right?” 

“R-right.”

They walk back in silence, close to each other, close enough that Yang can still feel Blake’s body heat evaporating in the cold. 

 

\-----

The next morning Yang starts Bumblebee as everyone loads back up into the trailer, yawning and asking each other how they slept. She turns her head as she hears Blake walking towards her, boots crunching the snow. She looks sheepish, hands held behind her back and the slightest blush creeping up on her face. 

“What is it?” Yang asks, meeting Blake’s eyes. 

“Um,” Blake starts, “Can I ride with you today? On the back of your bike I mean.” 

Her face flushes and Yang feels her cheeks burning too.  
“Y-yeah sure. That’s fine. If you want to I mean, you don’t have to, I mean, not that I don’t want you to-” 

Blake giggles and it’s the sweetest sound in the world. They get on together and Yang thinks that she’ll die from a heart attack. 

“Just kiss already.” Maria snaps from the cart.


End file.
